1. “We don’t just want a seat at the table — we want to reshape the table itself.” From Inclusion to Belonging

Team members engaged in a collaborative discussion during a business meeting, analyzing data and sharing insights around a conference table.

In her inspiring speech (2015), Verna Myers explains what diversity and inclusion are and how to promote their implementation. The video title and main theme, Diversity is being invited to the party: Inclusion is being asked to dance, was then discussed thousands of times and used in many training workshops related to Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion. Like any strong statement, this one too was analyzed, dissected, criticized, and either fully supported or strongly opposed.

After years of training sessions with hundreds of people from different sectors across Canada and countless hours of discussions with colleagues and mentors, I realized that, yes, we could criticize Myers for omitting certain aspects. For example, many people I spoke with emphasized that “being invited or asked to dance” is not enough. Indeed, equity-deserving, equity-seeking, and equity-denied groups invited to the party only have two options: accept an invitation to an event they didn’t ask for or organize, or refuse the invitation, knowing this could reinforce negative stereotypes like, “We offered many times and they never accept, so they don’t want to be included!”

Still, starting the conversation by explaining the huge differences between an invitation and a proactive participation is a powerful way to facilitate discussions about power and privilege, especially with people not used to facing discrimination, racism, and oppression.

For these people, whom many call “privileged” (adding various labels and socio-economic and demographic traits), recognizing that inviting someone to participate not only is wrong but also helps sustain the oppressive status quo, presents a significant challenge.

Gaining awareness is a highly personal journey. If you've ever delivered EDI training, you know that the audience is made up of a diverse group of people, even within the same organization, with a range of perspectives, experiences, and willingness to act on what they've learned. Moreover, the context—such as leadership, organizational culture, and the socio-demographic makeup of the workforce—plays a crucial role in either supporting or hindering the promotion, implementation, and use of training sessions and learning opportunities.

Of course, awareness alone isn't enough to bring about systemic change and end oppression and discrimination. We all recognize that. However, we also know that awareness is always the initial step; without it, the other essential changes needed to build a more inclusive and equitable system cannot start.

But let me now add a few elements to explain why “We don’t just want a seat at the table — we want to reshape the table itself.”

In many workplaces, people are included in systems that were never designed with them in mind. They're welcomed into meetings but not truly heard. Promoted in name but not trusted with influence. Represented in photos but not in decisions.

This results in inclusion without genuine belonging — a state where individuals are physically present but not psychologically, socially, or culturally safe. This gap leads to disengagement, attrition, mistrust, masking of identity, and missed opportunities for innovation and insight, while also sustaining discrimination.

The main point is that when we want to start any process (such as organizing an employee retreat, applying for a grant, or forming an advisory committee for a program), we should first discuss that intention with all interested parties, including equity-deserving groups. This helps us make a collective decision about what we truly want, need, expect, and how we envision the process to promote co-creation and open discussions. Indeed, the party and the dance might not be the most important things our workforce, community, or clients want, even if we are certain that it was the right approach. 

Belonging isn’t just a buzzword. It’s a core human need—and a key business requirement! But doing belonging properly means implementing mutual, intentional, and structural changes—something many leaders prefer to avoid because it’s uncertain, complex, and variable. It involves creating spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued, where differences are not just tolerated but embraced as a source of strength, and where people don’t have to sacrifice authenticity to gain access.

The more you read this, the more I think you’ll feel I’m describing a utopian vision where everyone belongs. And you’re probably right. But what’s the alternative? Continuing with ineffective EDI training that either makes privileged people feel good because “they are facing the issues” or guilty because of all the unconscious discrimination they perpetuate, without changing a bit of those structure and systems that perpetuate discrimination?

I prefer having a vision, or a dream if you prefer, and figuring out, together, what we can do to move toward it.

A few reflection points here:

• Are you experiencing the same as a trainer, employee, “privileged” person, or equity-deserving individual?

• Would you like to have more open conversations at your workplace, community, or with your partners and clients about how we can improve the situation but aren't sure where to begin?

• Are you, instead, experiencing a successful situation where conversations and co-creation are happening, and you would like to share those with us?

Share your thoughts in the comments — or message me directly if you’re working to build a culture of true belonging.

I am always happy to talk about these topics.